


The Great (Canyon) Krayt Dragon Robbery

by wellwhiskey



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Kenobi - John Jackson Miller, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Yee-haw, i’ll give you a star wars western disney plus, this is the funniest thing i’ve ever written
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:01:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27517270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wellwhiskey/pseuds/wellwhiskey
Summary: Hondo receives some unexpected help from the locals after he and his diminished crew are waylaid on Tatooine.
Comments: 16
Kudos: 60





	The Great (Canyon) Krayt Dragon Robbery

**Author's Note:**

> Me to myself after watching that new episode of The Mandalorian: You know who else needs a piece of this krayt dragon action? Hondo.

16 BBY – The Jundland Wastes or something

“You do _not_ want to do this!” Hondo told the pair of thugs who were half-dragging him away from the caravan that held the last vestiges of his captured crew. He said it loud enough that he hoped _their_ captain could still hear him. There was always a chance he could still talk them out of this and if not, he certainly wasn’t going to go quietly.

“You tell Jabba!” he shouted over his shoulder, “You tell him you killed _me_! One of his most lucrative business partners! And he will be very unhappy!”

One of Jabba's thugs - the tall human who currently held Hondo's upper arm in an incredibly strong grip - gave a low chuckle at this declaration, which Hondo did not like at all.

“That’s what they all say,” he told Hondo. “And besides,” he added with a toothy, spice-stained grin. “Who says we’re telling Jabba?”

Hondo tried to yank his arm out of the man’s grip, but to no avail. It was like struggling against a warm, fleshy, steel vice.

“I am serious!” Hondo continued, as before him their destination revealed itself. A rusting, but strong-looking metal rod, jammed lengthwise, high off the ground, between two large rock pillars at the lower end of a shadowy canyon. Hondo’s stomach dropped.

“I can pay you very handsomely!” He added more urgently. “Do you know who I am? I am _Hondo Ohnaka_! I am very rich!” Well, he had been, anyway. He didn’t add that part.

“Yeah, yeah,” grunted the thug. He looked back over his shoulder. “You got the Tusken?” He called back to his compatriots.

Hondo glanced back to see two more of Jabba's people pull an unconscious Tusken Raider from the back-cart of one of the transports. The pair followed Hondo and his captors up the rocky ridge, dragging the Tusken between them.

“Krayt dragons like Sand People,” the human thug told him gleefully. “Caught that one creeping a little too close to the camp this morning. We reckoned he’d probably be enough to keep her off the road. But then, we also reckoned she gets enough Tuskens. We reckon she might like a little variety.”

“A buffet,” chortled the scarred, pale Twi'lek who was gripping Hondo’s other arm.

“I assure you gentlemen,” Hondo went on, panic rising further as they reached the lengthwise pole and Hondo was shoved to his knees in the rocky sand. The human thug kept a firm grip on the pirate’s shoulder, keeping him down, as the Twi’lek unearthed two long coils of electro-rope from a sack and slung them both over the pole.

“There is no need for this!” Hondo struggled beneath the thug’s hand as he watched the Twi'lek work with growing horror. “I am worth much more to you alive!”

Apparently, his captors didn’t think so. Ignoring his pleas, the human shoved him over, holding him face down in the sand while the Twi'lek pulled his legs together. Before Hondo could so much as struggle, the Twi'lek thug had wrapped the end of the vibro-rope around his ankles and tightly secured it.

“Keep talking,” said the human, grinding Hondo's face harder into the sandy-dirt. “She’ll hear you sooner. Maybe you won’t have to _hang around_ too long.” He chuckled. “Gets a little warm out here, I’ve heard.”

“Or cold,” added the Twi’lek, who gave a sharp-toothed smile as he gripped the other end of the electro-rope and started to pull.

“You are making a mistake!” Hondo managed to say as they drug him backwards along the ground until he was hoisted into the air by his ankles. As his captors tied off the end of the rope, he struggled to get his wrists out of the tight tethers that held them together behind his back. But it was no use. The cords held fast. 

“You will regret this!” Hondo cried, his vision swimming as blood rushed to his head. He watched upside down as the other two thugs dropped the limp Tusken to the ground beneath the pole and likewise began securing his ankles. As they worked, the raider slowly began to come-to. Unfortunately, he didn't jerk fully awake until the Twi’lek had already finished tying off the electro-rope and they were pulling him up next to Hondo.

Hondo winced, watching the Tusken struggle as the nomad fully regained consciousness and realized where he was. Hondo expected to hear the loud, panicked vocalizations he’d head before from the raiders, but the Tusken, although clearly taken off guard, remained oddly silent. Maybe he knew _exactly_ what was going on. 

“Right,” said the human, dusting off his hands. “Let’s get out of here, boys. As much as I’d love to stay and watch the show,” - he smirked at Hondo - “’don’t reckon I want to be _part_ of the show.”

“Wait!” Exclaimed Hondo, as Jabba’s thugs turned to go. “Don’t leave me! I can pay!”

It was no use. They ignored him. Hanging upside down beside him, the Tusken Raider jerked his head around to Hondo in surprise, as if he couldn’t believe how much noise the pirate was making. 

“You are making a _big mistake_!” Hondo called after the men, ignoring the indignant Tusken hanging beside him. But once again, Jabba's thugs didn't respond. One of them made a rude gesture over his shoulder, and then group disappeared around the edge of the canyon.

Hondo stared after them, inverted, at the now-empty canyon passage. Then he heard, far beneath him and his unfortunate companion, the transport-speeder engines of the caravan revving back to life. A dust cloud rose over the ridge as the small line of transports and banthas lurched into motion and began to move on.

He and the Tusken Raider hung side-by-side in silence, both listening as the noise of the caravan faded, moving further and further away. As they listened, a light desert wind whistled through the canyon. From somewhere in the far distance came the lonely call of a bonegnawer bird. 

“Well,” said Hondo at last, breaking the heavy silence. “This is _fantastic_. Just. _Fantastic!_ ” The rope he hung from was cutting distinct burning lines into his ankles and the pressure from the blood rushing to his head would only become more unbearable, he knew. His vision was already going splotchy. He struggled again against the cords holding his wrists behind his back, trying his best to twist them free, but only managing to painfully chafe them against the bonds.

Tatooine’s first sun was setting. And soon it’s second sun would follow. And then it would get very, very cold.

“A chilled buffet!” Hondo exclaimed to the empty desert. “That is what we will be! A salad bar. Not that you would know what a salad is,” he added, glancing at the Tusken Raider. His fellow prisoner was, Hondo noticed with envy, hanging with his hands free, apparently deemed not as serious a threat as Hondo. He was still silently watching the dust cloud from the caravan rise higher and higher into the purpling evening sky.

“It’s a sort of cold leafy thing,” Hondo informed him. He wasn’t sure why. “We will be . . . just a couple of chilled little salads,” he added miserably. 

The Tusken slowly turned his head to look at Hondo, otherwise holding perfectly still.

“I have failed my crew,” Hondo lamented to swiftly declining suns. “I have failed as a captain. As a pirate! This is the end of Hondo Ohnaka. With only you as my witness!”

The Tusken turned back away from him, looking out instead at the setting suns.

“And what are _you_ doing?” Hondo snapped at him, painfully aware that it was highly unlikely the Tusken understood anything he was saying. Hondo had always gotten along with the nomads, in the scarce few encounters he'd had with them. But tragically, he had never taken the time to learn their language. It's funny, when the little things like that come back to bite you.

“You have your _hands_ free!” Hondo told him anyway. “Try and,” he jerked his head in the direction of the raider's free arms, hanging above his head, and then jerked his chin up towards the Tusken’s ankles. “Try and free yourself! And _then_ , you can free me!” He jerked his chin back in, hoping that the Tusken understood this last and most important part of his instructions above all else. 

Miraculously, the masked raider seemed to get the idea. He craned his head back to look at the electro-rope around his ankles.

“That’s it!” Hondo encouraged. “Try and get it!” 

The Tusken snapped his head back around to Hondo and made a flat cutting motion across his neck with the flat plane of his hand.

“What?” Demanded Hondo. “You’re going to cut my head off?”

The Tusken twitched in what was a clearly frustrated manner and then, twisting to glance down the canyon opening behind them, turned back and urgently held a finger up to the metal mouth-opening in his face wrappings.

It was a distinctly un-Tusken-like gesture. Hondo narrowed his eyes.

“Oh,” he said, giving his fellow prisoner a second once-over. Maybe the Tusken understood him better than he thought. “You mean, _quiet_?”

The Tusken pointed back at the canyon.

“Or the monster will hear us. Is that what you are saying? Right.” Hondo sighed in frustration. “Well. Are you going to try and free yourself, or what?”

The Tusken reached over and smacked him on the side of his helmet with a cloth-wrapped hand.

“Ow!” Hondo twisted indignantly. “Alright, alright, I get it-“

They both froze. Hondo fell silent. Deep within the depths of the canyon, echoing off the red desert rock, came a far-off, eerie cry.

Hondo felt his blood run cold.

“Oh no,” he whispered. And then, to the Tusken: “Do not worry. Maybe it didn’t hear us.”

For the first time, the Tusken made a noise. It sounded, to Hondo, like a frustrated growl. 

Then, as the pirate watched, the raider lifted his covered hands to his neck and began to pull at the cloth wrappings under his chin. He tugged the ends of them loose and, to Hondo’s astonishment, began to undo his face-coverings.

Hondo watched, frozen. He’d never, he realized, seen what the species looked like under all that get-up. He’d heard stories, though. Apparently, they were very ugly.

“You really don’t have to do that,” he said quickly, knowing, in his heart, that it was useless. But still. The last thing he wanted his final vision on this plane of existence to be was whatever was going on under a Tusken Raider’s face-wrappings. “I – what are you doing?” He demanded when the Tusken kept unwrapping the cloth holdings around his neck. “Stop that at once!”

But the Tusken didn’t. He managed to get most of the cloth around his neck undone. And, despite the pirate’s trepidations, Hondo found himself unable to look away as the raider pulled off the rest of the coverings over his head. 

He didn’t look at all like Hondo had expected. To be fair, Hondo wasn’t sure what he had been expecting. Less red hair, he supposed. Not as angry-looking. The beard was also a surprise. 

“It’s _me,_ Hondo,” the Tusken snapped at him, ruffling a free hand through his sweat-soaked head of hair. He shot Hondo a glare. “What are you _doing_ here?”

Hondo stared.

“What am _I-_ “ Hondo cut off his indignant exclamation with a bewildered shake of his head. “This cannot be happening,” he said. “It is the blood. Draining to my head!”

“Probably,” the Tusken Raider bit out. The Tusken Raider, who, hilariously, impossibly, looked exactly like - 

" _Kenobi?_ " Hondo managed incredulously. "Is that _really you_?" 

Kenobi sighed.

"I'm afraid so, Hondo," he said. 

"Ha ha!” Hondo laughed, elated. He couldn’t help himself. “No wonder we are still _hanging here_ ,” he snapped, collecting himself. “I should have known,” he laughed again. And then he schooled it into a scowl. “I should have _known_. A _real_ Tusken would have found a way out by now. But _you_ –“

Next to him, Kenobi actually rolled his eyes. Otherwise ignoring Hondo, he angled his head back again, inspecting the ties around his ankles. His auburn hair, streaked with more gray than Hondo remembered, hung damply from his head. Some of it still stuck in strands to his forehead.

“I _knew_ you had to be out there somewhere!” Hondo amended, having abruptly realized that Kenobi was probably his only way out of this. And the Jedi didn't seem like he was in a good mood. To be fair, waking up in the middle of being hung upside-down as krayt dragon bait would probably throw off anyone's day.

“I am glad to see the Empire hasn’t gotten you, my friend!” Hondo added, for good measure. 

“Hasn’t gotten me yet,” Kenobi amended darkly, glaring at his feet. 

“Yes, well. You said it, not me. Ha ha! Well?” He demanded when Kenobi still didn’t do anything. “Can’t you just _use The Force,_ or whatever?” 

“I’ve been trying to avoid it, actually,” Kenobi said calmly as he squinted up at his ankles. “Barring the most extreme circumstances, of course.” Then, with a grunt, he tried to bend himself upwards and reach his ankles. He fell back immediately, not even coming close. He looked back over at Hondo, face reddening as the blood rushed back into it. “It draws less attention, you understand.”

The wail came again. It may have been Hondo's imagination, but it sounded . . . louder. 

“You must forgive me,” Hondo deadpanned. "But is this not an _extreme circumstance?_ " 

"Well, it wouldn't have been," snapped Kenobi. "If you'd _kept your voice down_. Perhaps we might have had more time to –"

Kenobi’s voice cut off abruptly. He twisted around to look down the empty canyon. From its depths came another wail. Definitely louder, this time. The small rocks of the canyon trembled with it.

“Yes, alright,” the Jedi said irritably, turning back around. To whom he was speaking with - himself or Hondo - wasn't exactly clear. “If you’d kept _quiet_ , Hondo-"

“Kenobi, _it’s going to eat us_!”

Kenobi sighed, and suddenly, the cords holding Hondo’s wrists and feet came loose and he dropped head-first to the ground.

The pirate just managed to catch himself. He pushed himself over to sit on the ground, vision blotching all over again as he adjusted to being, once more, right-side up. He twisted his ankles, rubbing the feeling back into them as he did so.

Kenobi, of course, was already standing on his feet beside Hondo as if he’d been like that the entire time. The Jedi offered him a hand and Hondo batted it away. He struggled to his feet, hoping his ankles would hold him. But no sooner had he regained his footing when the ground shook. A very distinct _thump_ , _thump_ , _thump_.

For the better part of a moment, blind panic took over. Hondo took a few frantic steps back, about to break into a full-on sprint, when he realized Kenobi hadn’t moved.

“Kenobi!” He called back, pulling up to a momentary halt. “Why are you just standing there!? We need to _run_!”

Kenobi was gazing down the shuddering canyon.

“I think it’s far too late for that,” he said.

“You have got to be kidding me!” Hondo hissed, taking another step back, deciding he was going to run for it anyway. Kenobi had always been an idiot. Maybe the Jedi could take down a krayt Dragon, but then again, it was _Kenobi_ , so who really knew? Of all the supposed-dead Jedi to run into - 

“Fine!” Said Hondo, throwing up his hands. “Yes! I like this plan. You hold off the krayt dragon, and _I_ will escape. Goodbye!”

“Wait,” said Kenobi, holding out a hand, his eyes never leaving the canyon. _Thump Thump Thump._ “I may need your help, Hondo.”

“My help?” Hondo cried. “With _what_?”

“I need to go after that caravan,” Kenobi said.

“So?” _Thump thump thump._ “The caravan is _that way_!” Hondo gestured with his whole arm in _the other direction_.

“I know,” said the Jedi. And then he took a step forward right as the krayt dragon rounded the corner of the canyon.

There are several responses to frightening stimuli. You probably know of fight or flight. But there is also a third, less useful reflex that mammals of the cervid persuasion will employ in reaction to sudden bright lights. This response, _freeze_ , was what unfortunately overtook Hondo as he beheld the full grown krayt dragon at the far end of the canyon. 

Hondo had only seen holograms of the beasts before. The dragon's scaly hide had a tan, brownish color to it, like a sandstorm condensed and given teeth and claws. This one was on the smaller side, as far as canyon krayts went. But it was still certainly full grown, and certainly big enough to swallow both he and Kenobi whole; probably at the same time, if it really put it's mind to it.

And most importantly, the krayt dragon had spotted Hondo and Kenobi, too. It let out another wail that reverberated in the pirate’s very core. And then, it began to bound full speed right towards them; teeth, claws, sandstorm and all.

Hondo wanted to run. He really did. But he found that he could not. In a far distant part of his mind, he registered that Kenobi, in defiance of all logic and natural instinct, had taken a step towards the dragon, and then another. And then the Jedi stopped, and held up a hand.

The dragon continued to charge right at them. The ground shook and sand and dirt and rocks kicked up around it, the ground under Hondo’s feet shaking with its approach, right up until it came within meters of them. And then, abruptly, its nostrils flaring, pebbles and sand kicking up under its talons, it stumbled to a halt, as if coming up onto a wall only it could see.

Nearly writhing reach of them, the krayt reared back its great head, staring down with wild eyes at Kenobi. Then it opened its jaws and let out an ear-piercing roar.

The canyon quaked with it. Small rocks shuddered loose and pattered down the rocky slopes on either side of them. And the dragon did have a lot of teeth, Hondo noticed. Rows and rows of very, very sharp teeth. But Kenobi remained where he was. Hand still held up before him, he stared intently at the krayt, not moving an inch. 

The dragon slowly shut its toothy maw. It let out a snort, and shook itself out, before leveling a fixed stare back at Kenobi. As they locked eyes, the Jedi slowly turned his hand over, palm up.

The krayt shook its head out again, as if trying to clear something from its ears. And then, mysteriously, it began to move again, more slowly this time, towards Kenobi.

Hondo watched, transfixed, as the beast came to stand mere feet from the Jedi. And then the krayt lowered itself to its haunches, leaning forward until the tip of its scaly snout was inches from Kenobi’s upturned hand. Slowly, the Jedi turned his hand, and laid it gently between the dragon’s eyes.

Hondo realized his mouth was hanging open. He shut it.

With Kenobi's hand still between them, the dragon closed its eyes. A shudder ran through it. It sounded absurdly like a _purr_.

Slowly, a smile spread across Kenobi's face. He carefully placed his other hand on the side of the dragon’s head and shut his own eyes. A moment later he opened them. He smiled again at the dragon and gave it a soft pat on the nose.

In response, the krayt huffed out a contented breath. 

Kenobi turned to Hondo.

“She’s agreed to help us!” He called back.

Hondo’s mouth fell back open.

“Us?” He called back, far more shrilly than he meant to. He cleared his throat. “What do you mean?” He amended, “ _us?_ ” But he kept his tone far lighter than before, now that Kenobi was standing beside a fully-grown krayt dragon. A fully grown krayt dragon that was now watching Hondo far too keenly with its beady, soulless eyes.

“You want to get your crew back, don’t you?” Kenobi asked him, turning back and scratching the dragon's forehead.

“Well,” Hondo said gruffly. “I mean. I suppose.”

“Well then,” Kenobi said. “Come on!”

He gave the dragon a final pat on its snout, and began slowly making his way around the krayt’s side, keeping a hand cautiously extended along it’s flank as he did so.

“Oh no,” Hondo said, realizing what Kenobi was about to do. “Oh, no. I am _not_ going to -" the pirate's voice failed as he watched Kenobi grab ahold of one of the dragon’s side-spikes and haul himself over its scaly back - “do _that._ "

Kenobi carefully adjusted himself atop the dragon, finding two solid grips on its back spikes. It dawned on the pirate captain then, that he, Hondo, had indeed traversed a long and winding hyperspace lane or two since the last time he’d seen the Jedi. It had been in the shiny, vast hanger of a nearly impenetrable top-of-the-line Republic Military Star Destroyer. A Star Destroyer of which, along with at least seven others like it, Kenobi had been entirely in charge.

“She won’t bite,” Kenobi told him now, smirking. Then his eyes flicked down to the back of the dragon’s head. “Probably,” he amended. And then, as if that were supposed to be some sort of ringing safety endorsement: “What are you _waiting_ for, Hondo?”

Anything but this, Hondo thought. But seeing no other way out, he slowly approached the dragon. 

“Kenobi,” he said, as the dragon’s black eyes tracked his every move. “Are you sure about this?”

“Not really. Hurry up!”

Kenobi, at least, seemed to be in a much better mood all of the sudden. Hondo ignored him, catching the dragon’s eye as he took cautious steps by its huge snout. After what felt like a lifetime, he finally reached the krayt’s side. Kenobi leaned over and offered a hand, his eyebrows raised expectantly.

Grimacing, Hondo took it. Kenobi pulled him up behind him.

The pirate had barely settled himself about a foot behind the Jedi, clinging with all his might to the first two dirt-encrusted spikes he could find, when he realized that - far more likely than not - over the past few years and given everything that had happened, Kenobi had completely lost his mind. Hondo was going to die here.

“Ready?” Kenobi asked over his shoulder.

“Yes!” Hondo lied. “What are _you_ waiting for?”

Kenobi turned back around.

“Hm,” he said thoughtfully. He rubbed a hand over his beard, frowning at the back of the dragon’s head.

“What?” Hondo demanded, as the dragon shifted beneath them. “ _What?_ What is it?”

“I’m not sure how to tell her to go,” Kenobi told him.

Hondo blinked.

“ _What?_ ”

“Oh wait,” said Kenobi. His hand dropped. “I’ve got it.”

And then, without warning, the dragon lurched to its feet and leapt forward.

It wasn’t so bad, Hondo told himself, as he clung to the krayt dragon’s spikes for dear life; as it bounded over the rocks and ripped the metal pole they had been hanging from straight out of its fastenings with one huge taloned claw; as it scrambled down the hillside to the smuggler's pass and back up towards the opposite canyon wall. It wasn't so bad once you got used to it. It was like riding a wild dewback, only worse. 

“Kenobi, make it slow down!” Hondo cried as the dragon bounded up the side of the canyon at an angle that nearly threw the pirate off. It should have thrown him off, but somehow, he was still here.

“I can’t!” Kenobi yelled back. “Hang on!”

Up, up, up they went, Hondo’s stomach having long since dropped to the very pit of his insides. His hands ached and his neck and head felt jarred with the effort of staying upright. At last, the krayt scrambled over the top of the ledge and thankfully straightened into a more ridable angle. Hondo saw Kenobi lurch forward, placing a splayed hand at the nape of the krayt’s neck. 

Finally, this seemed to cause the dragon to slow its frantic speed. It slowly halted, ambling into a more casual stroll. A casual stroll for a krayt dragon, anyway. Hondo let out a relieved breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, loosing his aching grip on the dragon’s spikes enough to still hand on, but at the same time to give his joints some relief.

“There,” Kenobi said from in front of him. Satisfyingly, he, too, sounded a little out of breath. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?” 

“You are _crazy_ ,” was all Hondo managed to tell him. 

Kenobi didn’t respond, but as he watched the smugglers road far beneath them now, Hondo could see his mouth quirk sidewards into a smirk. 

They rode for a bit in silence as the krayt continued to creep along the edge of the canyon wall with its riders. Until at last, far below them, Hondo saw the beginnings of the tell-tale dust cloud following the caravan. 

“There we are,” Kenobi muttered, a little vindictively, eyeing the billowing dust and sand. Hondo narrowed his eyes at the back of the Jedi’s head. 

“What _are_ you doing here, anyway?” He asked lowly, as the krayt ambled along the ledge. “And dressed like a Tusken Raider? I am sure they do not take kindly to that.”

“On the contrary,” Kenobi quipped. “They insist on it. I have been accepted as one of their own.”

“Oh.” Said Hondo sarcastically, rolling his eyes. “Yes, I am sure you have been.” And then he looked harder at the side of Kenobi’s head, as the Jedi continued to scan the smuggler’s trail.

“Wait,” he said, taken aback as it dawned on him that Kenobi was being completely serious. “ _Really_?”

“Oh, yes. Actually, I think it’s rather grown on me. Fewer sunburns this way.”

“That does make sense,” Hondo agreed pragmatically, squashing down the other part of something that had risen up in him. A sort of sick feeling. The indignant helplessness that had dogged his footsteps since the end of the war. For all his irreverence towards what The Republic had once been, this was...wrong. He wondered where the rest of Kenobi’s people were. He’d believed most of the Jedi to be dead. Perhaps, he thought with an odd pang, they were. 

Kenobi cast him an irritated look out of the corner of his eye. Hondo cleared his throat and looked away.

“You know, I-“ the pirate started stiffly. “I want you to know, Kenobi. I do not like this Empire. I-“ 

“Look. There,” the Jedi interrupted him sharply, pointing a wrapped finger down the ledge. 

The end of the small caravan came into view; A pack-bantha, waddling along, weighed down by its cargo. Which was, incidentally, the very container of spice Jabba’s people had swindled off Hondo and his pirates that morning.

The krayt came to a halt and pulled up its head as it spotted the bantha. Then it lurched low to the ground, Hondo and Kenobi hunching down with it. It crept along the ledge now, in a too-silent way that a beast its size shouldn’t have been capable of. Hondo’s skin crawled a little. He leaned forward.

“What is your plan now, Mister Tusken Raider?” He whispered.

“Which transport is holding your men?” Kenobi whispered back.

Hondo squinted down the ridge as the line of transports came into full view.

“The blue one,” he said, pointing. “There, in the middle. What are _you_ going to do? What do you need from these men?”

“We’ll need to be sure to only draw out Jabba’s people,” Kenobi didn’t answer him. “More than likely, they’ll have other prisoners.”

“Right,” said Hondo. “And what about you? You still have your laser-sword thingy, right?”

Kenobi didn’t answer him.

“Kenobi,” Hondo pressed. “Your laser sword?”

“What about it?” snapped Kenobi.

Hondo leaned back again.

“They have it, don’t they,” he realized. “Your lightsaber-thingy. That is why you are chasing them!” He added, jabbing a finger into Kenobi’s shoulder.

“The important thing to remember,” Kenobi told him, shrugging him off. “Is to only aim for the people with blasters.”

“Kenobi, _I_ don’t even have a blaster.”

“Oh. Well, no matter. We have a krayt dragon.” Kenobi patted the dragon on the back of its neck. “I think she likes you, Hondo.”

The krayt flicked out its forked, black tongue.

“That does not make me feel better,” Hondo said. “How will we even get down there?”

“We are going to jump,” Kenobi said matter-of-factly.

“No, we are not,” said Hondo.

“Yes, we are.”

" _No_ , Kenobi, we are-"

Then, without warning, the krayt leapt off the edge of the canyon.

Halfway to the ground, Kenobi flipped off the dragon's back because of course he did. Hondo, for his part, clung on for dear life.

The krayt landed right on top of the largest center transport-speeder with a _crunch_ , digging it’s claws into the metal roof. It straightened itself and let out another earth-shaking roar. Kenobi landed on his feet right in front of the dragon. As he straightened, he held out a hand and _pulled_ , yanking a long blaster rifle free from the hands of a brigand who had appeared out of the top hatch of the transport in front of them, making to take aim at the dragon.

The blaster-rifle soared through the air to Kenobi’s outstretched hand. Then, in one motion, the Jedi caught it and spun, throwing the rifle over the dragon’s head to Hondo.

The rifle didn’t exactly fly _to_ Hondo in so much as it flew _into_ him. One hand still clinging to the krayt’s spikes, he fumbled around with his other to get the hold of the rifle in his grip. He managed to get a finger on the trigger right as the dragon sank its jaws into the roof of the transport and yanked. With a horrible steel screech, the dragon’s head reared back, rusted steel hanging from its jaws like sharp-looking shreds of rotten meat.

Through the newly ripped hole in the roof, Hondo could see Jabba’s thugs in the transport below, jostling about and aiming their blasters through the new opening. The pirate ducked behind the dragon’s neck as a several red blaster bolts zinged at him through the torn metal. When the blaster shots slowed, Hondo leaned around the dragon’s head. With the rifle in one hand and clinging to the krayt’s back with the other, he took aim and shot back.

“Ha ha!” The pirate exclaimed, as the bolts from his blaster disappeared into the hole. The dragon tossed its head back, throwing the scrap metal in its mouth to the side. Hondo heard the screams from the thugs inside as the dragon came back around and went in for another go at the roof.

“Yes!” He yelled, as the krayt tore off more of the transport's roof and Hondo spied among the scrambling men the human thug and the scarred Iwi’lek who’d left him for dead. “Hello again! It is I, Hondo! Perhaps you are surprised to see me!”

Kenobi had leapt to the next transport in line, going straight for the thug he’d stolen the rifle from. Hondo watched as the Jedi dodged a right-hook thrown at him from the other man, and then the pirate turned his attention back to the transport on which he and the dragon still stood, as beneath them, the doors on either side of the transport slid open.

The handful of Jabba’s thugs Hondo had spied through the holes in the roof spilled out of the still-moving speeder on either side, some of them tripping face first into the sand, and several others re-gaining their footing and scattering in every direction from the caravan.

The krayt dragon, not to be deterred, turned and opened its jaws as if to let out another roar. But instead of a roar, it let forth a steaming spray of green _something_ , that splattered on the thugs with a sickening series of sizzles.

“Yeesh,” said Hondo, watching as the thugs screamed and withered to the ground under the onslaught of acid. Then, the krayt turned to the other side of the transport and did it again. None of the thugs got very far. 

Suddenly, the center transport finally stuttered to a halt. The speeder behind it, unprepared for the sudden stop, rammed straight into it. The resulting jolt almost dislodged the krayt, but the dragon held on, digging it’s claws in deeper and spinning around to face the new disturbance. As the dragon turned, it swung its massive tail along with it. Out of the corner of his eye, Hondo saw Kenobi duck at the last moment, pushing the thug he fought away from him. Not as quick as the Jedi, the end of the dragon’s tail caught the other man across the chest and he was flung from the roof of the transport.

The dragon, this time, let out an actual roar at the speeder responsible for ramming into them. Another thug appeared from its roof with a blaster, aiming at the dragon. One bolt bounced uselessly off the krayt’s scaly neck, and then Hondo took aim and hit the shooter squarely in the shoulder. The man slumped bonelessly over the hatch from whence he had appeared.

“Hondo!” Kenobi called from behind him. At the sound of the Jedi’s voice, the krayt spun back around, just in time for Hondo to see the first two transports of the caravan, including the one on which Kenobi stood – the blue one, holding the rest of Hondo’s crew - take off at heightened speed down the smuggler’s trail, by-passing two more pack-banthas and a smaller landspeeder leading the caravan.

“After them, dragon! Go!” Hondo urged, trying to spur on his mount. He wasn’t sure if the krayt leapt off the center transport and after the escaping speeders because of him, or because it was following Kenobi. Either way, Hondo knew which version of the story he would be telling his grandchildren.

Even at increased speed, the old desert transports weren’t very fast. The krayt dragon caught up to them with ease. As it and Hondo came alongside the transports - the krayt having no trouble keeping up as it galloped alongside them - Kenobi flipped off the roof of the blue transport and landed precariously on his feet, back between the dragon’s rolling shoulder blades.

Hondo, one hand still holding onto the dragon and one still holding the blaster rifle, leaned back as Kenobi slid back onto the dragon, straddling it just at the junction of its neck and shoulders.

“What now?” Called the pirate, jerking his rifle up and firing off another bolt as another thug appeared out of the roof-hatch of the transport.

“We need to slow them down!” Kenobi yelled back. He urged the dragon forward, and it galloped faster to come alongside the lead transport speeder. The Jedi jerked to the side, and the krayt jerked with him, ramming it’s heavy body into the side of the speeder and jolting it momentarily off the road. The transport speeder gave a mechanical groan and clipped the side of a small bolder just off the trail. The speeder shuddered and seemed to lose some of its momentum.

“It worked!” called Hondo. “Do it again!”

Kenobi did. The dragon rammed into the speeder again. This time wasn’t quite as effective, and two more thugs appeared on the roof, blasters aimed right at them.

“Hang on, Hondo!” Kenobi called. Then he was crouching to his feet again on the dragon’s back, and Hondo watched incredulously as the Jedi sprung back off the galloping krayt dragon.

“Where are you going!?” Hondo called, watching as Kenobi landed on the roof of the lead transport and slammed right into one of the Jabba’s thugs, knocking the man off the transport almost immediately.

“I don’t know how to drive this thing, Kenobi!” Hondo added, but was suddenly distracted by the sound of a small explosion, behind him, coming from the blue transport. Hondo turned in time to see the side-door of the transport blast off its hinges and fly off into the desert. Immediately following the door came a Gamorrean guard, who flew out of the open door of transport with a squeal. Hondo saw the Gamorrean’s own axe lodged right in the center of it’s chest before it and the guard were left behind in the dust.

And then, from out of the open door, leaned two familiar people. Jiro and Turk, two of Hondo’s most trusted lieutenants.

“It’s the captain!” He heard Jiro yell, pointing at Hondo atop the krayt dragon as it loped alongside the transport speeders.

“Yes, it is me!” Hondo called to them, waving the rifle in the air from the krayt’s back. “It is your captain! I have returned to rescue you! Hondo Ohnaka never leaves a man behind!”

Just then, another blaster bolt from somewhere sizzled by his ear and he flinched away. He looked back up to the roof of the lead transport, where Kenobi was once again engaged in hand-to-hand combat with a larger human. At the moment, they were both grappling for control of a gaffi stick.

Hondo looked back to his men.

“We are taking over this caravan!” He called to the crew. “For the Ohnaka band! This is what happens when you mess with Hondo!” He finished triumphantly, holding the blaster-rifle over his head. Bold words, but it was hard not to feel invincible on the back of a krayt dragon.

Jiro gave a jaunty salute and ducked back inside the blue transport. A moment later, a second Gamorrean guard followed the first out of the transport door. Hondo felt a swell of pride. Right on cue, the dragon let out another mighty roar and bounded back up towards the first transport. Seeming to remember its instructions from Kenobi, the krayt slammed its body back into the side transport.

This time, it was more effective. On the roof, Kenobi had just gained control of the gaffi stick, whacked the blunt end of it into the thug’s face, and leapt for it, as the dragon’s momentum caused the transport to veer sideways and strike directly into a large boulder, bringing it to a dead screeching stop.

Kenobi rolled to his feet on the ground between the lead transport and the krayt dragon, which had cantered to a halt when it saw Kenobi land on the ground. Behind them, the blue transport sputtered to a stop.

“We’ve got control of the transport boss!” Jiro yelled out of the open door. “What now?”

“Go back!” Hondo called to them, gesturing back towards the rest of the caravan with his rifle. “There is one more speeder! And all of our spice! And more! Take it all! I will be there soon!”

“Aye aye, captain!” Jiro yelled, and the blue transport spun around and sputtered back to the remains of the caravan.

Kenobi, for his part, was making his way towards the wrecked lead transport, spinning the graffi stick idly in his hand as he went. Even with it, he didn’t really look much like a Tusken Raider. When he reached the wreck, the Jedi held out a hand, and the door to the transport cockpit crunched off its hinges and fell to the side.

With nowhere left to hide, two masked thugs stumbled out of the transport. One of them hunched in the door of the cockpit and took aim with a blaster. The other one stepped forward and ignited a blue lightsaber.

The thug in the cockpit started shooting. Kenobi waved the blaster bolts from him like knocking aside a curtain, and then splayed his hand out and yanked it back, pulling the blaster from the thug’s grip. Kenobi closed his fist and the hilt of the blaster flew up and slammed into the thug's head. The other thug stepped forward and took a clunky swing at Kenobi with the lightsaber, which the Jedi ducked almost lazily, before coming back up underneath it and jamming the end of the gaffi stick into the man’s throat. The lightsaber shut off and dropped from the thug’s hands as he stumbled back, both hands going to clutch his windpipe.

Kenobi bent down and picked up his lightsaber. He dusted it off with his hand, and then slid it smoothly into his sleeve.

The thugs stared at him, dazed. 

“Your caravan was attacked by a krayt dragon,” Kenobi told them, waving a hand. “All of the prisoners were eaten.”

“Our caravan was attacked by a krayt dragon,” the thugs repeated in creepy unison. “All of the prisoners eaten.”

“You saw nothing out of the ordinary.”

“We saw nothing out of the ordinary.”

Kenobi considered them for a moment.

“You want to find new jobs,” he added.

“We want to find new jobs.”

“Kenobi!” Interrupted Hondo, as the dragon shifted restlessly underneath him. He didn’t want it to run off into the desert with him on it. “I think it is time to go!”

The Jedi turned back to him. Then, he tilted his head, giving Hondo the same considering look.

“Oh no!” Hondo held up his hands. “No, no, no! Do not even _think_ about it!”

“It probably wouldn’t work on you, anyway,” Kenobi said, somewhat regretfully.

“Right! It definitely would _not_!” Hondo agreed, not even sure what ‘it’ was, but knowing that he did not like it one bit. “Don’t you dare, Kenobi! I thought we were friends!”

“Not to worry, Hondo,” Kenobi said, turning from the glassy-eyed thugs and striding over to where Hondo still sat upon the increasingly restless full-grown krayt dragon. The Jedi laid a careful hand between the dragon’s eyes as he passed, and then leapt back on top of it, settling once more in front of Hondo.

The pirate leaned back, eying the Jedi warily.

“Like I said,” Kenobi added over his shoulder, “It probably wouldn’t work on you, anyway.”

“You are not as funny as you think you are, Kenobi,” Hondo told him threateningly. “You are welcome, by the way, for my help in rescuing your laser sword!”

“Oh, yes,” Kenobi slid the end of his lightsaber out of it’s hiding spot in his sleeve, looking it over fondly. “You have my sincere gratitude, Hondo. It seems to still be in one piece. Somehow.”

“Yes, and you have _me_ to thank for that!” Hondo reminded him. “Now, make this overgrown lizard take me back to my crew!”

~🐉~

The rest of the caravan wasn’t far. Kenobi brought the dragon to a halt just beneath a rise in the smuggler’s road, where the caravan was not yet visible.

“We’ll send her off before she tries to eat the banthas,” Kenobi explained, sliding off the dragon’s back and onto the sand.

“Are you sure about this?” Hondo continued to clutch onto one of the dragon's spikes, reluctant to give up such a tactical and cool-looking position. “Pretty ah, convenient to have around, this thing, eh?” He pointed out, patting the dragon on the back. In response, the krayt gave an angry snort and shook its head. Hondo jerked his hand back in alarm.

“On second thought,” he added. “Never mind. I am getting off now.”

Kenobi came around to the front of the dragon as Hondo managed to crawl off, and patted it again on the snout. Then he closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against the krayts.

“Thank you, my friend,” he said, and leaned back again, opening his eyes. And then, with a final pat on the side of the dragon’s head, the krayt turned away from him, and ambled off the smuggler’s road to the side of the rock cliff, where it took several leaps up some of the red boulders and disappeared into the canyon with a swish of its great tail.

“Now that is something you do not see every day,” Hondo found himself saying, watching it go.

“I should hope not,” Kenobi replied. “You should see the bigger ones.”

~🐉~

They walked to rest of the way to the remains of the caravan; now consisting of just several banthas and the two previously wrecked transport speeders. Hondo spied his crew with their stolen transport further up the road. He scanned the remaining pack-banthas, all of which seemed to have already been relieved of their cargo.

Kenobi came to a halt as they reached the banthas, carefully out of view of Hondo's men. Hondo glanced over at the Jedi.

“You know, I was thinking,” the pirate started. “And - _normally_ , I must say; _normally_ I would not make this offer to someone as inexperienced as you, Kenobi. But, you know. Desperate times. The crime syndicates, my profiteers and investors, they do not like me anymore, for some reason! My crew, well, you saw them. Diminished! Our profits, lower every day! What I am saying, my friend, is that if you ever get tired of, er, Tusken raiding, you could possibly make a very useful pirate!”

Hondo didn’t really think Kenobi would make a _good_ pirate, temperamentally speaking. He would probably just get on everyone’s nerves. But he was good with that laser sword. And maybe the Jedi could even take out his pointy-headed friend from the Clone Wars who, Hondo was sure, was determined to either ruin Hondo for good or kill him. Some people with their grudges and their laser swords, who thought they could wave their hand around and just _take over_ the underworld.

“And we are both wanted men, now! Ha ha! You will fit right in!” He added, poking Kenobi in the shoulder with a finger. “Funny how that worked out, eh?”

The Jedi smiled ruefully at him.

“Yes, I suppose it is,” he said. “But I’m afraid I can’t accept your offer, Hondo.”

“Why not? Too many settlements to raid?” Hondo ribbed him. “Too many moisture farming children to steal?”

“Something like that,” Kenobi smiled. For some reason, it hurt to look at and Hondo felt a sudden impulse to smack it off of him. “Or, perhaps," the Jedi added, "this is simply a good place for me to hide.”

“No, no,” Hondo shook a finger at him. “You are up to something; I am sure of it! But far be it from me to interrupt your secret plans! Do not worry, Kenobi. I will _not_ tell a soul that you are here!”

“I would appreciate that-“

“No, no!” Hondo interrupted, remembering all too well what had happened to Jabba’s thug’s about five minutes ago. “I insist! I will accept _no_ payment! It is out of the goodness of his heart that Hondo does this!”

“I’m touched,” Kenobi said, as dryly as the desert in which he now lived.

“No need to thank me, please!” Hondo swept into a dramatic bow. “It is Hondo’s prerogative to help out those less fortunate than he. Just promise me one thing,” he added, straightening up. “You _do_ have a plan? To defeat this Empire?”

Kenobi’s mouth twisted into something like a smile.

“I have hope,” he said.

“Well,” Hondo said shortly. “That is not a very good answer.”

Kenobi shrugged.

“Then, I suppose this is goodbye, my friend!” Hondo said, clapping Kenobi on the shoulder and feeling that there was nothing more he could do. “I do not expect I shall ever see you again!”

“Probably not,” Kenobi agreed. But he didn't sound too put out about it. “May the Force be with you, my friend.”

“Yes!” Said Hondo, dropping his hand from the Jedi’s shoulder. “I hope so!”

Kenobi laughed, and Hondo almost told him to tell the two scary teenagers who’d followed him around during the war - Skywalker and Tano - that Hondo said hello. And then he squashed that impulse down immediately. He had an odd, sick feeling that Kenobi’s little friends probably weren’t here.

“I mean it!” Hondo added one last time, feeling some way about it, as he turned to join his crew. “You might be crazy, Kenobi, but you are good in a fight!”

“I know,” said the Jedi. “Goodbye, Hondo.”

“Goodbye!” Hondo called back. “And may the Force be with _you_!”

He left Kenobi amidst the smoking remains of the smuggler’s caravan, standing with the last pack-banthas, now unloaded of their thrice-stolen containers of spice. Perhaps Kenobi would take the creatures back to his Tusken friends. Perhaps Skywalker and Tano were there too, and they were, the three of them, scheming even now to destroy The Empire. Hondo decided that he would believe they were.

“How’d you do it boss?” His lieutenant Turk Falso asked as Hondo joined his crew on the other side of the caravan, watching as they pushed the last of the spice containers into the stolen transport. “How’d you get that krayt to let you ride it?”

“Yeah! That was amazing, that was!” Called Barb, his best shot, who was manning the controls at the front of the transport.

“Well,” Hondo slung an arm around Turk’s shoulder as they walked up the ramp into the transport together. Pikk Mukmuk, Hondo’s favorite monkey lizard, leapt joyfully from Turk’s shoulder to Hondo’s. The captain scratched Pikk between the ears.

“Let me tell you – yes, hello my little friend, Hondo missed you too – Let me tell you, gentlemen! Hondo Ohnaka has a few tricks up his sleeve! I told those Hutts, I told them! You do not mess with Hondo! Now, as you all know, I am very good with animals. That is why I am Pikk’s favorite, and you are not! But what you may not know, is that my first pet _was_ a krayt dragon. It all began when I was about six years old-“

And as they headed back to Mos Eisley, it became clear that Hondo’s crew still had a few good years left in them. The empire hadn’t managed to wrangle them yet. The crime syndicates may be pushing them out, double crossing them, but Hondo would find a way to prosper. He always had. Hope! That is what it was indeed. He had it as much as his erstwhile Jedi friend. Republics and empires would rise and fall. But Hondo would keep his eyes, as he always had, on the event horizon.

**Author's Note:**

> I.  
> Is this realistic within the framework of Star Wars lore? Could you actually Force-tame (or whatever) a Krayt Dragon? Ha ha! Who cares? You can now! 
> 
> II.  
> This all came about because after that new Mandalorian episode, (you know, the one with the krayt dragon) I could not get over the idea of early desert hermit Obi-Wan befriending a krayt dragon and riding it around. I mean what else is he doing all day. So I had to write this before the new Kenobi show does it first. We are manifesting, ladies. 
> 
> III.  
> Obi-Wan's deal here is loosely based off of the part in John Jackson Miller's book _Kenobi_ (The OG Star Wars western, although season 2 ep 1 of mando gave it a run for it's money. Yee-haw) where (*spoilers*) the lead warrior of a Tusken party is impressed with Kenobi's mad skills and invites him to join them. TBH I think it would be a great idea for him. 1. Great way to stay out of sight. 2. Why waste time protecting the Lars Homestead from Tusken Raids when you could JOIN them. 3. It could be a small way to help make amends for Anakin's horrid crimes. 4. Some new homies for Obi-Wan and 5. I just think it would be hilarious because Obi-Wan would probably hate, like, living in a tent. I just get that vibe from him. I bet he gives up and moves back to his hut after 6 months and the Tuskens never forgive him for it. 
> 
> Cheers!


End file.
